“Harry the War Horse”
If those of you that don’t know at this point a friend of Tucker’s has been sent to the middle east. I spoke with Price roughly 12 hours before his group was taken on a flight to what he figured would be somewhere in the middle east.
I don’t fear giving away government secrets or anything and I wouldn’t do that I don’t work for the New York Times. It wasn’t exactly secret since cable news network CNBC was lurking about his base for 24 hours covering the story.
Although it would seem there is a pretty good chance that the war in Iraq, has well fallen through I can’t imagine spending time in that area of the world can be all that pleasant. You never know what will happen over in Middle East, or if things will get ugly. Id imagine his crew (not the out of shape South Jersey losers) will likely have a lengthy stay in the desert since they are from what I am told well trained for that sort of thing. Their time might even be longer, since the war has been delayed more than the 5th season of the Sopranos.
Are we going to war with Iraq? I doubt it a this point. Nor am I convinced we should either. North Korea might be a bigger problem than Iraq at this point. I just hope Price is back downing beer with me safe and sound when he returns. Sorry if that sounded gay, but if anyone wants his address to write to him let me know via email.
Oh yeah, he played Harry the Horse in Guys and Dolls in a Sterling play once.
“ Put a Terrorist In Your Tank”
A recent commercial campaign mocks the anti-drug campaign that launched string of commercials late last year talking about how drug money ends up in the hands of terrorists. They also mentioned that the events of September 11th were paid in part by drug users even as harmless as pot users. Several people tell the camera that they helped knock two large buildings down(I wonder if Jay has and jokes he wants to add about that) and help kill innocent people.
The new commercial campaign attacks SUVs because of their poor gas mileage. Like the anti-drug campaigns, they trace the money. From some white dude pumping his SUV, to the EVIL oil company man in a suit, and ending with an Arabic looking solider. They also have one with various others.
Here is some text from the ad.
'This is George,'' a child says in a sing-song voice. ''This is the gas that George bought for his SUV. This is the oil company executive that sold the gas that George bought for his SUV. These are the countries where the executive bought the oil, that made the gas that George bought for his SUV. And these are the terrorists who get money from those countries every time George fills up his SUV.''
Now I am trying to guess what the objective of this campaign is. Is it to get the law to crack down on what kind of mileage a car can get to the galloon? Perhaps. Is it to make us feel guilty every time we fill up the tank? Not sure. Should I try to harm Rich Arter (a SUV owner) the next time I see him for being a supporter of terrorism? Is it just using the events of Sept 11th to farther a anti-SUV campaign that has been taking place since they drove off the assembly line?
Well SUVs have always come under fire for their likeliness to flip over (comically known as rubbering up). I was hit by one once, and it almost put the Tempo in the grave. Luckily, it didn’t rubber up. People said the same things about jeeps when they first came on the market. If people want to purchase dangerous vehicles for traveling at for convenience, does it differ from Motor Cycle drivers doing the same for looking cool?
That’s not the point though I know. But what about me? Is it okay that I supposedly support terrorism just a little bit? Last time I was Mobil I didn’t see special tank for the SUV drivers. So, my money went to the same place as George’s did right? So lets say I at least bought Osma Bin Laden lunch with my money at least once or twice. What about the South Jersey residents who commute to New York City (surprisingly more than you would think) even if they don’t have SUVs. They are likely to burn more gas than a soccer mom who zips around the locally. Should we round these bastards up? Lets say two families decide to go to Washington DC to see sight see. What if they could easily fit both in two cars, but take an SUV do they burn the same amount of gas?
I guess I see where they are coming from, but I think the ads are kind of silly. Maybe the drug ones were blown out of proportion, but I certainly didn’t need 9/11 to tell me drug money supported horrible people. A drive to through Camden tells me that.
A more effective ad might have flashed actual stats. up about how much gasoline they use burn up. Or an alternative solution to natural gas. I want everyone to turn his or her heat off during the cold snap in South Jersey. DO IT!
Hockey, Movies, South Jersey/ Philly stuff/current events/ stupid stories
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
“All You Need is Love!”
Thank you for everyone voting for the story of the year. The winner by a hair is the story of the two lovers Jay and Jenna. To get the full understanding of perhaps why this story may have struck a cord lets take a journey back my fellow readers….come let us go back in time.
Once there was this boy who carried around a bag of lima beans from place to place. A behavior so particular that it earned him the nickname Lima Beanz by his classmates. Lima Beanz dreamed of one day becoming wrestling coach for young boys. He admired the sport’s homoerotic roots and thrill of boys forcefully trying to get one another flat on their backs. Lima Beanz grew up and went away to college and made no friends, because nobody liked him.
Once there was this girl who grew up not to far from Lima Beanz. She was the girlfriend of a pastor’s son. However, she grew up too and went away to a different college, dated some guys and fell in love with her volley ball coach. Therefore, she decided to kick the pastor’s son to the curb, sending him to a period of private hell and misery.
One sweltering South Jersey summer day the boy and girl crossed paths. Ryan and I whitness the start of it all. You see Jenna was on a “break” from her new beau giving the chance to meet other guys that summer while come for school. That day her and Lima Beanz touched lips for the first time. Lima Beanz had to throw out his scientific theory he had worked on his whole college career that girls had “coodies”. It didn’t matter that girls found him repulsive and offensive when he openly degraded them anymore (if he spoke to them at all). It didn’t matter that most girls were turned off about him claiming to be the smartest man alive and God. He didn’t need them.
Because he loves her.
Each summer like the shobies to the jersey shore Jenna came to Laurel Springs. Each summer they did the dance of love under the summer sky. Each time she returned to school she would pull the wool over eyes of her dimwitted farmer boyfriend. While he checked to make sure each chicken was in the coop she quietly shed tears on her pillows.
Because she loves him.
One Summer she did not return, like the summer when the shoobies stayed away from Wildwood due to a sewage leak (thankfully a long time ago and since cleaned, New Jersey and You Perfect Together! ) she stayed away from Laurel Springs for the most part that summer. This didn’t dishearten the now retired scientist. He knew she would soon have a ring on her finger from him. Lima Beanz had ring of his on when he finished college. He spent most of that year sleeping till 4 pm, and sinking into debt. He worked sporadically after getting his education for a couple of years. One employer ousted him cause he didn't like him. That didn’t bother him one bit.
Because he loves her.
Jenna moved back when school was done. With in weeks she forgot the farmer like Hollywood forgot C. Thomas Howell. She was back to locking lips with now more muscular Lima Beanz. Lima Beanz of course had done little maturing since he was a boy. At the same time Jenna decided to date guy after guy after guy after guy after guy after guy. Even Rich Arter for Christ sakes! Eventually she decided to kick the farmer to the mill. After a creepy sexual love triangle was displayed at Drewiebe 2002-bie (don’t ask) which made everyone who witnessed it uneasy and ready to vomit in Drew’s backyard. Luckily people only urinated in his pool. Despite her roster of love interests Lima Beanz was there like a loyal (or stupid) basset hound. (2 votes) She would always return to him though no matter who or how many guys she was seeing.
Because she loves him.
Over the years few girls were fooled by Lima Beanz's outward looks. Though many become disgusted when they got know him as a person he had a few chances. One girl invited him to a Super Bowl party for a guarantee lay. He opted to spend the day with dudes make sloppy Joes. Another hottie (over rated actually) girl wanted him bad, despite seeing him vomit. Instead of rebounding from that fowl, he fumbled. I think I just mixed up 3 sports in that sentence. Good thing no one reads Tucker’s World. Anyway…Lima Beanz even botched up a hook up with Russian Vixen.
Because he loves her.
After dating the equivalent of the population oh Hi-Nella Jenna decides on the day people observe the birth of Christ (sorry drew) that Lima Beanz is her man. She needs a man that who is chronically unemployed., enjoys farting in public places, still finds amusement in playing the penis game while approaching his mid-twenties, checks outs his own body, makes jokes about the events of Sept. 11th, picks on Drew, fears a cigarette smoking man, has blatant repressed homosexual tendencies, is a little girl about his hair, wants retards dead, hated by the vast majority of society including Ryan’s father, has little or no money, has no respect for property of other people, leaves idle cars ignored for months on end, shares a room with this brother, has less ambitious drive than Ryan has a sex drive, socially retarded when talking to authority figures and votes for the same story of the year as her.
Because she loves him.
The odds are stacked against him and their relationship is more controversial than Bush Administration’s relationship with Enron (despite the fact Clinton had an similar relationship) . Jay might only have a pocket full of lima beans and an empty wallet. But he has key to Dukes apartment for nice romantic evenings, and a key to Jenna’s heart. Despite Lima Beanz knowing for years that she is “The One” to the mockery of his peers, and critics pointing out Jenna's fickle cold heart and neither them having the job they want, but everything is going to be okay.
Because all you need is love.
“Rich Men, Poor Men”
I still am not sure about the whole tax cut, because I simply don’t know enough about the economy to know if it will fix the situation. Unfortunately, it is not something I can write strongly about and state a side just yet.
One point of the tax cut (as I understand I could be wrong) would be to cut back on taxing money earned in the stock market, and than cutting back on it when it is passed down after death. I want read more about it before I make an intelligent comment about it. I tried reading TERMINUS but most of it went over my head, and I think it might be more opinion than fact. I would like to see how Drew would fix the economy since he seems to know ahead of time that this tax plan won’t work. I don’t mean that in a mean way. I want him to make up a plan.
Anyway before I get off topic and start talking about gay sheep or comparing people I know to basset hounds again let me get to something that resembles the title of this article. The tax cut has generated belly aching again that I can understand to a certain extent but I don’t really side with. It is a bellyache that has been around since cavemen had more rocks than other cavemen. It will be here when Smell You Later replaces goodbye (Simpsons reference for you people with lives), but I am sick of it.
I’m talking about people picking on the rich just because they are rich. Granted people some people did shady things go earn their green. Granted rich people can be stuck up ( I experienced this before) and not want to associate with blue collar people and can be pricks about the company they keep. But there are a lot of mid income pricks and low income pricks who hate people unlike them just as much. Just work in retail for awhile. I don’t see many people in the middle class hanging out with homeless people. Most people don’t even feel sorry for them, I feel sorry for very few of them. Not that I am a prick. I am aware of the poverty problem. Actually I am currently gathering clothes I don’t wear for good will.
Anyway, people bitch about the tax cut saying rich people are getting too much money back. Do you know why they are making a lot more money back than the majority of the demographics of this webpage? Before you say special interests read this comparison. Let us say Tom Tulish and I go to Best Buy. Tom buys an X-Box, and I buy an Avril Lavigne CD. The next day I let Tom read The Philadelphia Daily News when I am done with it, and so he can ignore merchandise being wheeled out. After reading the people paper for awhile he comes across a flyer for Best Buy offering 10 % everything. Because we know how to bitch out retail employees ( I would never do this though) we go back there and demand them to honor the discount. Tom makes back more money than I did because he spent more than I did.
If I actually had a full time job, I would not expect the government to hand me more money back than Dan K would get. I have not gone through the mundane details to see if either of us would get money back this time around. Of course, I would have to work full-time, but even if I did I wouldn’t make much at my current job to merit a truckload of green. Yes, obviously I need money more than Dan since he makes 70 times more than I do. However, it is not about that. It’s about giving money back that was taxed on the money you earned right?
I don’t want to see the gap between poor and the rich widen anymore as much as the next guy. But I don’t have distain for the rich. I don’t feel they owe me anything. If anything I admire the likes of Bill Gates, Ted Turner, John Rockafeller, and Milton Hershey. Granted it would be hard to give money back to the deceased but do you know why you know all these people and they are rich? Because they freaking earned it. All of them worked hard, or had the smarts to foresee the next big thing coming down the white horse pike. For every rich asshole, there is an honest good-hearted man like the late Dave Thomas. Heck when the stock market was booming in the mid-90s people got rich simply from reading about the market and GASP reading a newspaper. I only hate them, because I am like DAMN why didn’t I think of that!
Not everyone can be rich in a capitalistic society. We need the poor to do mundane jobs, and so the democrats can pay them for their votes. If rich people want to manipulate and take advantage of the weak and lazy than so be it. That is just survival of the fittest that exists in every society. They are also providing them with jobs and stuff to buy. It would have been swell if my ancestors hopped on the Oil bandwagon early last century. The people that were smart enough hard working enough and dedicated enough can pass down their loads of cash from generation to generation now (and the government will tax that too so even after you meet the reaper you pay Uncle Sam). So people with “Old Money” can be stuck up I don’t think its their job to close the poverty gap if they don’t want to. Anymore than if I should give a dollar to some drugged up homeless guy ( home dwelling challenged) if I don’t feel the need.
People who scoff the rich act like America is the only place that has class problems. Our poor people’s living conditions are that of envy in some countries where living to 30 is an accomplishment. As much as I get annoyed that most the Indian gas attendants cant understand what the heck I am saying, you have to admire their balls. Not in a gay way of course, but they found a hole in the system and exploited it.
I just graduated college and I feel like Tim Robbins in the Hudsucker Proxy. I am not really sure what my ticket to ride is going to be yet (hopefully there is one) but I don’t want to fully blame others if I spend my life in retail. Granted the economy is the worst in 3 decades making the job search a big fat bitch. I know part of it is who you know and it would help if I had a distinct dream. I would rather blame myself for not having enough direction. Despite that blaming the man on the moon and people who are richer than you is the American way.
I am not saying everyone can just get money and fortune by simply WANTING. You need a marketable skill if you are out to just make money. Some people would rather just follow their hearts and that’s cool. Those people are usually the most good-hearted people and the glue of society. But if your out to join the top 1 % if you have and idea, an concept, a product that people will want or need, some sweat, hard work, elbow grease, showing no fear, and a way to sell it than you deserve every cent you earn. If the government decides they take too much money from EVERYONE what you earn and want to be fair about it you should get back based on what you earned. Not what you think you are owed. So instead of scoffing the rich, maybe read about how they did it.
Thank you for everyone voting for the story of the year. The winner by a hair is the story of the two lovers Jay and Jenna. To get the full understanding of perhaps why this story may have struck a cord lets take a journey back my fellow readers….come let us go back in time.
Once there was this boy who carried around a bag of lima beans from place to place. A behavior so particular that it earned him the nickname Lima Beanz by his classmates. Lima Beanz dreamed of one day becoming wrestling coach for young boys. He admired the sport’s homoerotic roots and thrill of boys forcefully trying to get one another flat on their backs. Lima Beanz grew up and went away to college and made no friends, because nobody liked him.
Once there was this girl who grew up not to far from Lima Beanz. She was the girlfriend of a pastor’s son. However, she grew up too and went away to a different college, dated some guys and fell in love with her volley ball coach. Therefore, she decided to kick the pastor’s son to the curb, sending him to a period of private hell and misery.
One sweltering South Jersey summer day the boy and girl crossed paths. Ryan and I whitness the start of it all. You see Jenna was on a “break” from her new beau giving the chance to meet other guys that summer while come for school. That day her and Lima Beanz touched lips for the first time. Lima Beanz had to throw out his scientific theory he had worked on his whole college career that girls had “coodies”. It didn’t matter that girls found him repulsive and offensive when he openly degraded them anymore (if he spoke to them at all). It didn’t matter that most girls were turned off about him claiming to be the smartest man alive and God. He didn’t need them.
Because he loves her.
Each summer like the shobies to the jersey shore Jenna came to Laurel Springs. Each summer they did the dance of love under the summer sky. Each time she returned to school she would pull the wool over eyes of her dimwitted farmer boyfriend. While he checked to make sure each chicken was in the coop she quietly shed tears on her pillows.
Because she loves him.
One Summer she did not return, like the summer when the shoobies stayed away from Wildwood due to a sewage leak (thankfully a long time ago and since cleaned, New Jersey and You Perfect Together! ) she stayed away from Laurel Springs for the most part that summer. This didn’t dishearten the now retired scientist. He knew she would soon have a ring on her finger from him. Lima Beanz had ring of his on when he finished college. He spent most of that year sleeping till 4 pm, and sinking into debt. He worked sporadically after getting his education for a couple of years. One employer ousted him cause he didn't like him. That didn’t bother him one bit.
Because he loves her.
Jenna moved back when school was done. With in weeks she forgot the farmer like Hollywood forgot C. Thomas Howell. She was back to locking lips with now more muscular Lima Beanz. Lima Beanz of course had done little maturing since he was a boy. At the same time Jenna decided to date guy after guy after guy after guy after guy after guy. Even Rich Arter for Christ sakes! Eventually she decided to kick the farmer to the mill. After a creepy sexual love triangle was displayed at Drewiebe 2002-bie (don’t ask) which made everyone who witnessed it uneasy and ready to vomit in Drew’s backyard. Luckily people only urinated in his pool. Despite her roster of love interests Lima Beanz was there like a loyal (or stupid) basset hound. (2 votes) She would always return to him though no matter who or how many guys she was seeing.
Because she loves him.
Over the years few girls were fooled by Lima Beanz's outward looks. Though many become disgusted when they got know him as a person he had a few chances. One girl invited him to a Super Bowl party for a guarantee lay. He opted to spend the day with dudes make sloppy Joes. Another hottie (over rated actually) girl wanted him bad, despite seeing him vomit. Instead of rebounding from that fowl, he fumbled. I think I just mixed up 3 sports in that sentence. Good thing no one reads Tucker’s World. Anyway…Lima Beanz even botched up a hook up with Russian Vixen.
Because he loves her.
After dating the equivalent of the population oh Hi-Nella Jenna decides on the day people observe the birth of Christ (sorry drew) that Lima Beanz is her man. She needs a man that who is chronically unemployed., enjoys farting in public places, still finds amusement in playing the penis game while approaching his mid-twenties, checks outs his own body, makes jokes about the events of Sept. 11th, picks on Drew, fears a cigarette smoking man, has blatant repressed homosexual tendencies, is a little girl about his hair, wants retards dead, hated by the vast majority of society including Ryan’s father, has little or no money, has no respect for property of other people, leaves idle cars ignored for months on end, shares a room with this brother, has less ambitious drive than Ryan has a sex drive, socially retarded when talking to authority figures and votes for the same story of the year as her.
Because she loves him.
The odds are stacked against him and their relationship is more controversial than Bush Administration’s relationship with Enron (despite the fact Clinton had an similar relationship) . Jay might only have a pocket full of lima beans and an empty wallet. But he has key to Dukes apartment for nice romantic evenings, and a key to Jenna’s heart. Despite Lima Beanz knowing for years that she is “The One” to the mockery of his peers, and critics pointing out Jenna's fickle cold heart and neither them having the job they want, but everything is going to be okay.
Because all you need is love.
“Rich Men, Poor Men”
I still am not sure about the whole tax cut, because I simply don’t know enough about the economy to know if it will fix the situation. Unfortunately, it is not something I can write strongly about and state a side just yet.
One point of the tax cut (as I understand I could be wrong) would be to cut back on taxing money earned in the stock market, and than cutting back on it when it is passed down after death. I want read more about it before I make an intelligent comment about it. I tried reading TERMINUS but most of it went over my head, and I think it might be more opinion than fact. I would like to see how Drew would fix the economy since he seems to know ahead of time that this tax plan won’t work. I don’t mean that in a mean way. I want him to make up a plan.
Anyway before I get off topic and start talking about gay sheep or comparing people I know to basset hounds again let me get to something that resembles the title of this article. The tax cut has generated belly aching again that I can understand to a certain extent but I don’t really side with. It is a bellyache that has been around since cavemen had more rocks than other cavemen. It will be here when Smell You Later replaces goodbye (Simpsons reference for you people with lives), but I am sick of it.
I’m talking about people picking on the rich just because they are rich. Granted people some people did shady things go earn their green. Granted rich people can be stuck up ( I experienced this before) and not want to associate with blue collar people and can be pricks about the company they keep. But there are a lot of mid income pricks and low income pricks who hate people unlike them just as much. Just work in retail for awhile. I don’t see many people in the middle class hanging out with homeless people. Most people don’t even feel sorry for them, I feel sorry for very few of them. Not that I am a prick. I am aware of the poverty problem. Actually I am currently gathering clothes I don’t wear for good will.
Anyway, people bitch about the tax cut saying rich people are getting too much money back. Do you know why they are making a lot more money back than the majority of the demographics of this webpage? Before you say special interests read this comparison. Let us say Tom Tulish and I go to Best Buy. Tom buys an X-Box, and I buy an Avril Lavigne CD. The next day I let Tom read The Philadelphia Daily News when I am done with it, and so he can ignore merchandise being wheeled out. After reading the people paper for awhile he comes across a flyer for Best Buy offering 10 % everything. Because we know how to bitch out retail employees ( I would never do this though) we go back there and demand them to honor the discount. Tom makes back more money than I did because he spent more than I did.
If I actually had a full time job, I would not expect the government to hand me more money back than Dan K would get. I have not gone through the mundane details to see if either of us would get money back this time around. Of course, I would have to work full-time, but even if I did I wouldn’t make much at my current job to merit a truckload of green. Yes, obviously I need money more than Dan since he makes 70 times more than I do. However, it is not about that. It’s about giving money back that was taxed on the money you earned right?
I don’t want to see the gap between poor and the rich widen anymore as much as the next guy. But I don’t have distain for the rich. I don’t feel they owe me anything. If anything I admire the likes of Bill Gates, Ted Turner, John Rockafeller, and Milton Hershey. Granted it would be hard to give money back to the deceased but do you know why you know all these people and they are rich? Because they freaking earned it. All of them worked hard, or had the smarts to foresee the next big thing coming down the white horse pike. For every rich asshole, there is an honest good-hearted man like the late Dave Thomas. Heck when the stock market was booming in the mid-90s people got rich simply from reading about the market and GASP reading a newspaper. I only hate them, because I am like DAMN why didn’t I think of that!
Not everyone can be rich in a capitalistic society. We need the poor to do mundane jobs, and so the democrats can pay them for their votes. If rich people want to manipulate and take advantage of the weak and lazy than so be it. That is just survival of the fittest that exists in every society. They are also providing them with jobs and stuff to buy. It would have been swell if my ancestors hopped on the Oil bandwagon early last century. The people that were smart enough hard working enough and dedicated enough can pass down their loads of cash from generation to generation now (and the government will tax that too so even after you meet the reaper you pay Uncle Sam). So people with “Old Money” can be stuck up I don’t think its their job to close the poverty gap if they don’t want to. Anymore than if I should give a dollar to some drugged up homeless guy ( home dwelling challenged) if I don’t feel the need.
People who scoff the rich act like America is the only place that has class problems. Our poor people’s living conditions are that of envy in some countries where living to 30 is an accomplishment. As much as I get annoyed that most the Indian gas attendants cant understand what the heck I am saying, you have to admire their balls. Not in a gay way of course, but they found a hole in the system and exploited it.
I just graduated college and I feel like Tim Robbins in the Hudsucker Proxy. I am not really sure what my ticket to ride is going to be yet (hopefully there is one) but I don’t want to fully blame others if I spend my life in retail. Granted the economy is the worst in 3 decades making the job search a big fat bitch. I know part of it is who you know and it would help if I had a distinct dream. I would rather blame myself for not having enough direction. Despite that blaming the man on the moon and people who are richer than you is the American way.
I am not saying everyone can just get money and fortune by simply WANTING. You need a marketable skill if you are out to just make money. Some people would rather just follow their hearts and that’s cool. Those people are usually the most good-hearted people and the glue of society. But if your out to join the top 1 % if you have and idea, an concept, a product that people will want or need, some sweat, hard work, elbow grease, showing no fear, and a way to sell it than you deserve every cent you earn. If the government decides they take too much money from EVERYONE what you earn and want to be fair about it you should get back based on what you earned. Not what you think you are owed. So instead of scoffing the rich, maybe read about how they did it.
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Sorry for the delay in posts...for that you get a double-header. Sadly more people will read this post than watched the World Series.
“The Secret Life of Ralphie Cifaretto”
Sometimes when a tv show or a movie becomes popular and you don’t realize that some of the actors had done previous movies that you have seen. Like it took me awhile to realize that Josh Hartnett who has had much success of late, was the kid in the AWFUL Halloween H20. I didn’t realize till I flipped pasted the USA broadcast premier of the ultra-dark Nicolas Cage flick 8 Millimeter that Tony Soprano and “The Machine” were one in the same. I mean when I first tuned into The Sopranos, I didn’t even recognize him from anything.
I learned to accept that one. But I was totally blown away after reading an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer profiling Joe Pantoliano who plays Ralphia Cifartetto has been in many movies I have seen before. He appeared in such movies as Bad Boys, and the Fugitive. I guess small roles that I don’t recall. But when I read he was in last year’s Memento I could not imagine who he was in the film. Since it had such a short cast I figured he had to be Teddy. The sleazy friend of the lead character of the movie, but he was bald and looked nothing like Ralphie. Clearly the paper had mad an error.
Well I looked up on the IMDB and they were right. Apparently, he wears the best damn wig on tv. He has really short gray hair, and is almost bald. He did however really grow up in North Jersey and his step-dad might have been connected. I can’t get over that it is the same actor! I guess in a world of featherless chickens anything is possible.
“Snow Business”
Sleet is being said on my TV right now, and so is wet snow. Of course it is in regards to the Pocono’s. However, it was reported as close as Mullica Hill today. Philly might see some wet snow this weekend. The last several winters have been really mild. In fact I am pretty sure we skipped winter last year. The one snow “storm” that hit South Jersey was a distant memory when it hit over 50 degrees the next day.
This fall however seemed a bit on the chilli side, at least to this cold weather loving south jerseyan. So when I checked the Fox Philadelphia Weather page as I usually do I decided to drop an email to Rob Guarino. I did this as a loyal service to my readers (both of them) and because I am a huge dork.
Since I heard El Nino was returning after a brief hiatus for this winter I knew that something crazy was going to happen this winter. Honestly in the same article that I read in the Courier-Post they said it would be really mild, but ended by saying it could also be wet and wild. So lets see. It will either be really cold and wet or warm and dry? Well…I could have told you that. So, anyway I sent him an email asking him if the cool fall could have anything to do with a colder winter. Also to clear up what the right call was for the return of El Nino. I also pressured him to predict the total amount of snow fall in our region this winter. Something he has not done on TV or on his webpage as of yet. THEREFORE, YOU HEARD IT AT TUCKER’S WORLD FIRST!
Here is the response he wrote me.
BOTH CALLS ARE RIGHT AT THIS POINT AND YES THE FALL WEATHER IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WINTER. OCEAN TEMPS DROPPING UNLIKE LAST YEAR.
LOOK FOR 15-22" OF SNOW THIS SEASON. BELOW AVG. BUT BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.
--ROB GUARINO
FOX WEATHER
Don't expect NBC 10's John Bolaris to tell us we will be up to our eyeballs in snow this year, at least not from a Philadelphia affliate. He is leaving NBC 10 at the end of November (sweeps month of course). The popular weatherman known for banging lots of hot chicks and dating Lauren Hart (Gene Harts daughter) for 4 years made an ass out of himself a few winters ago. He predicted for the storm of the century, and all we got was wet snow and some wind and it was like 50 degrees. He literally got 3,000 death threats e-mailed to him. He will leave for NYC to be back and already might have a job at a CBS affliate. I doubt Howard Eskin can cock block him that far away.
Also my friend Duke who claims to be in touch with the weather is predicating a cold possibly snow filled winter. But we once had to convince him to use Soap.
“The Secret Life of Ralphie Cifaretto”
Sometimes when a tv show or a movie becomes popular and you don’t realize that some of the actors had done previous movies that you have seen. Like it took me awhile to realize that Josh Hartnett who has had much success of late, was the kid in the AWFUL Halloween H20. I didn’t realize till I flipped pasted the USA broadcast premier of the ultra-dark Nicolas Cage flick 8 Millimeter that Tony Soprano and “The Machine” were one in the same. I mean when I first tuned into The Sopranos, I didn’t even recognize him from anything.
I learned to accept that one. But I was totally blown away after reading an article in the Philadelphia Inquirer profiling Joe Pantoliano who plays Ralphia Cifartetto has been in many movies I have seen before. He appeared in such movies as Bad Boys, and the Fugitive. I guess small roles that I don’t recall. But when I read he was in last year’s Memento I could not imagine who he was in the film. Since it had such a short cast I figured he had to be Teddy. The sleazy friend of the lead character of the movie, but he was bald and looked nothing like Ralphie. Clearly the paper had mad an error.
Well I looked up on the IMDB and they were right. Apparently, he wears the best damn wig on tv. He has really short gray hair, and is almost bald. He did however really grow up in North Jersey and his step-dad might have been connected. I can’t get over that it is the same actor! I guess in a world of featherless chickens anything is possible.
“Snow Business”
Sleet is being said on my TV right now, and so is wet snow. Of course it is in regards to the Pocono’s. However, it was reported as close as Mullica Hill today. Philly might see some wet snow this weekend. The last several winters have been really mild. In fact I am pretty sure we skipped winter last year. The one snow “storm” that hit South Jersey was a distant memory when it hit over 50 degrees the next day.
This fall however seemed a bit on the chilli side, at least to this cold weather loving south jerseyan. So when I checked the Fox Philadelphia Weather page as I usually do I decided to drop an email to Rob Guarino. I did this as a loyal service to my readers (both of them) and because I am a huge dork.
Since I heard El Nino was returning after a brief hiatus for this winter I knew that something crazy was going to happen this winter. Honestly in the same article that I read in the Courier-Post they said it would be really mild, but ended by saying it could also be wet and wild. So lets see. It will either be really cold and wet or warm and dry? Well…I could have told you that. So, anyway I sent him an email asking him if the cool fall could have anything to do with a colder winter. Also to clear up what the right call was for the return of El Nino. I also pressured him to predict the total amount of snow fall in our region this winter. Something he has not done on TV or on his webpage as of yet. THEREFORE, YOU HEARD IT AT TUCKER’S WORLD FIRST!
Here is the response he wrote me.
BOTH CALLS ARE RIGHT AT THIS POINT AND YES THE FALL WEATHER IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WINTER. OCEAN TEMPS DROPPING UNLIKE LAST YEAR.
LOOK FOR 15-22" OF SNOW THIS SEASON. BELOW AVG. BUT BETTER THAN LAST YEAR.
--ROB GUARINO
FOX WEATHER
Don't expect NBC 10's John Bolaris to tell us we will be up to our eyeballs in snow this year, at least not from a Philadelphia affliate. He is leaving NBC 10 at the end of November (sweeps month of course). The popular weatherman known for banging lots of hot chicks and dating Lauren Hart (Gene Harts daughter) for 4 years made an ass out of himself a few winters ago. He predicted for the storm of the century, and all we got was wet snow and some wind and it was like 50 degrees. He literally got 3,000 death threats e-mailed to him. He will leave for NYC to be back and already might have a job at a CBS affliate. I doubt Howard Eskin can cock block him that far away.
Also my friend Duke who claims to be in touch with the weather is predicating a cold possibly snow filled winter. But we once had to convince him to use Soap.
Saturday, October 26, 2002
Here is short story I wrote for awhile back. Some of you read it a years ago. But as Dennis Miller used to say when HBO would show a rerun of Dennis Miller Live, it is not a rerun, it is a encore presentation!
" A M E R I C A N MONKEYS"
It seemed like the day I decided to take my own life that the weather some how knew. It was fitting what was to be my last day on Earth was one of those extremely dark days when you began to wonder if the sun still existed. I guess it didn’t even matter where I stood now. Standing in the dark, damp subway station. Finally my train pulled up and I got in. Not a moment too soon either the stench of the urine in the subway was particularly strong that night.
I took the first seat. The train was quite full for such a messy night. The only reason I was out in this mess was to say goodbye to my friend Peter. Peter and I had grown up together, although I haven’t seen him too much these days since he went to school in the city. When I got there some spaced out guy who I have met before greeted me, I think his name was Darren, or Jared, or something one of those names you don’t hear that often. He told me Peter had gone to his girlfriend’s house for the weekend. I couldn’t believe it . I couldn’t even get my most important goodbye in. To top it all off it reminded me that I was dumped a month ago. I guess I wouldn’t had been that big a deal if it hadn’t been so close to me flunking out of college. I can’t look back. I’m going to do it tonight.
Looking around the train I was on I wondered why it was frowned abound to take your own life. In fact, society would be much better off with out some of my fellow passengers. For example, the fat man two seats ahead of me. I mean this guy must have been without exaggerations 600 pounds. I don’t understand people like him, you would think when he broke 400 he would have decided to lay off the Twinkies. The man’s rolls of fat jiggled as the train moved. It was jiggling almost in perfect timing with the metal squeezing sounds the train made.
As my eyes scanned the car I found another cancer to society. Miles Peterson, I graduated high school with him. We were good friends for the first two years or so, he was acutally kind of a quiet geek type. However, one day he decided to pretend he was a bad ass. He started wearing chains, dressing differently, calling everyone YO. What really pissed me off was that everyone but Peter and me seemed to have bought it at the time. He became one of the most popular guys in school. He would tell me every Monday about the girls that he would get laid by. I never understood girls. I guess that’s why Gina left me.
I clinched a bottle of aspirin in my hand. It was shoved way down deep in my pocket. I figured that’s the way to go. It’s going to be tough enough for whoever discovers my body. No need for me to add to the horror by putting a bullet through my skull and having them not only see my dead body but my brains scattered all over the room.
When the doors opened again to let the next wave of passengers in and a fresh dose of urine air, Miles spotted me. He got up and walked towards me swinging his arms like he would turn around and hit anyone who gave him crap. Its funny I still see that quiet kid he used to be. He used to have a Ducktales lunchbox our first year of high school. Not only was it odd for a kid that age to still have a lunchbox, but to have one with a cartoon on it made it even funnier. He sat down across from me.
“How you been Yo?” he shouted loud enough to make sure everyone knew he was cool.
“ I have been”
You would think with the blatant roll of the eyes I gave him he would have gotten the hint.
“Where you working these days? he asked.
“Ralph’s market.”
“Still? What are you up to about 4 bucks an hour?” he asked followed by a fake laugh.
“About that.”
Now notice I didn’t ask him anything about his life. However, he saw fit to tell me anyway.
“I’ve been working for the Central Federal Computer Data. Its easy cash. Because, I know my shit so well. I get on the phone and sell people software and shit. I even go to their homes to help fix problems. I make commission on selling them a warranty from our company. I’ll go in there and scare the crap out of them by telling them horror stories of all the viruses going around. Not only do I get them to buy warranties and make commission, but I exploit the real dumbasses. I’ll run a disk in their computer and charge them 50 bucks telling them they are protected from all the newest viruses. Although it doesn’t even do that. It just runs through the files. Its totally meaningless.”
I started pretended in my mind to punch him and throw him into the wall of the train. I always make stuff up in my mind when I’m bored As I looked around the train I was amazed to see this incredibly sexy woman about my age sitting, alone. As Miles rambled on and on, I began to think maybe I could postpone my plans for the night and make a new friend. She had straight dark hair and a low cut red tank top on. Peter once lent me a book about how men and woman get together. The one theory was the monkey theory. That if two people were forced to stay in the same spot for a long period of time they would end up having sex. Like monkeys in a cage at a zoo. I got out of my seat while the train still moved. I figured I had at least thirty minutes until we reached Stewart Street, which was my stop. She wasn’t going anywhere. Might as well go out with a bang. I always wanted to put that monkey theory to a test.
My first move to make and impression on her wasn’t very good. I kinda fell into the seat next to her. I wondered if Miles was still talking.
Our eyes met. I had to say something other than hello. That would be pretty lame. I took notice of her wearing shorts.
“Aren’t you cold?” I asked. Although one look at her tank top gave me the answer to that question. I didn’t want to look, so I sent my eyes to look at the chair in front of me. There was a bunny sticker on the back of the seat in front of me. I just sat and looked right at it.
“Yeah well it’s always hot where I work so my boss let’s me wear shorts. She’s cool like that” I turned back facing her just to see her smile after she said that. I saw her big brown eyes widen. She has such a nice smile, that it made me feel guilty about all the sinful things I thought of her while crossing that train.
“Melissa’s my name but call me Missy” she extended her soft little hand.
“I’m James.” We shook hands. “So where do you work?”
“American Bagels you know on 45th and market?”
“Oh yeaaaah” I lied.
“Do you want one?” she asked she leaned over to get a bagel out of the bag sitting on the floor. My eyes went straight back to the bunny. I took the bagel and wrapped it up and set it on my lap for later. I wanted to talk to her, but not about me. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to hear about me going to school to become a doctor and failing. Or how everyone seemed to have better luck than I do, even guys like Miles who didn’t deserve it. Or that if this train wasn’t moving so slow, that I would be downing a bunch of pills right now.
“Where you heading?” I asked.
“Back to my apartment in Amesbury.”
“That must be so cool to be out on your own. I mean my parents drive me nuts. Everybody has it better than me. What made you finally decide to get out?”
“Actually my parents are dead”
No where in that monkey book did it mention about what to say after that.
“I’m really …”
“When I was ten my mother was killed in a drunk driving accident. My father was never the same. Six years later I came home from school to find my father lying on the kitchen floor. He was dead of a heart attack. I sat there holding him waiting for the ambulance. But I knew he was gone. I could feel it. I have some relatives down south, and a grandmother in a home. But I have been on my own since I was sixteen its been me and my Little sister. I work at the bagel place and take classes when I can. I’m not going to be there my whole life. I’ studying to become a vet I love animals”
When I first saw her I could only think about what she would look like naked. Now I couldn’t. I just thought about holding her when she was crying and holding her in sense to say it wasn’t fair that she was dealt a lousy hand in life. But its amazing when I looked at her she didn’t seem defeated. In fact, she had a look of total confidence when she told me where she saw herself. I placed my hand on hers for a second. She looked back and pointed with her head. She pointed right to Miles.
“Friend of yours?” she asked.
“Far from it”
“He comes in my work a lot. Her asks me to go clubbing with him every time. I just keep telling him no but he doesn’t listen. I told him to his face one time that I didn’t like him,but he still comes.”
Speaking of the devil. He came to us as the train had reached his station. He walked up to say goodbye. Or so I thought. He just looked at her.
“ I see you are talking to my boy Jimmy over here,” he said, hitting my shoulder. But it was the way he said it like I didn’t have a chance in hell with a girl like her that pissed me off. “Maybe I’ll stop in and see you tomorrow Missy.” As he finished that sentence missy and I both noticed the enormous piece of snot hanging out his nose. It was funny how he was trying to put me down in front of her, and he had a ten-foot booger clinging for dear life to a nose hair. When he left, we both broke into laughter. I hadn’t laughed that hard in I don’t know how long.
“Its funny most girls are into Miles big time,” I said once I caught my breath.
“Yeah there are a lot of naive girls that I could see buying into his act. I guess he sees other guys get girls who act that, and he figures he my as well pretend to be like them. Instead of actually being himself. I mean he may live a happy life with girls he dupes. But he isn’t honest with himself. I can even tell that. I guess his act is just his way of taking the easy way out.” I realized the irony of her comment as I clinched the aspirin bottle once again.
Before I knew it we arrived at Stewart station I got up. I realized what I slid on when I came over. It was little red plastic monkey, with two hook arms. It looked like it was from one of those barrel of monkeys from when I was a kid.
“Oh how cute,” she said. “ My little sister gave me them for Christmas one year. She said she liked the way that one monkey would always hold on with all his might to keep the other from falling.”
“Thanks,” I said softly. I think she thought I ment the for the bagel.
I gave her the monkey and told her goodbye. I stepped out of the train. I thought about doubling back and getting her number. Instead, I took the aspirin and threw it as hard as I could, and took a bite of the bagel. It was sweet.
" A M E R I C A N MONKEYS"
It seemed like the day I decided to take my own life that the weather some how knew. It was fitting what was to be my last day on Earth was one of those extremely dark days when you began to wonder if the sun still existed. I guess it didn’t even matter where I stood now. Standing in the dark, damp subway station. Finally my train pulled up and I got in. Not a moment too soon either the stench of the urine in the subway was particularly strong that night.
I took the first seat. The train was quite full for such a messy night. The only reason I was out in this mess was to say goodbye to my friend Peter. Peter and I had grown up together, although I haven’t seen him too much these days since he went to school in the city. When I got there some spaced out guy who I have met before greeted me, I think his name was Darren, or Jared, or something one of those names you don’t hear that often. He told me Peter had gone to his girlfriend’s house for the weekend. I couldn’t believe it . I couldn’t even get my most important goodbye in. To top it all off it reminded me that I was dumped a month ago. I guess I wouldn’t had been that big a deal if it hadn’t been so close to me flunking out of college. I can’t look back. I’m going to do it tonight.
Looking around the train I was on I wondered why it was frowned abound to take your own life. In fact, society would be much better off with out some of my fellow passengers. For example, the fat man two seats ahead of me. I mean this guy must have been without exaggerations 600 pounds. I don’t understand people like him, you would think when he broke 400 he would have decided to lay off the Twinkies. The man’s rolls of fat jiggled as the train moved. It was jiggling almost in perfect timing with the metal squeezing sounds the train made.
As my eyes scanned the car I found another cancer to society. Miles Peterson, I graduated high school with him. We were good friends for the first two years or so, he was acutally kind of a quiet geek type. However, one day he decided to pretend he was a bad ass. He started wearing chains, dressing differently, calling everyone YO. What really pissed me off was that everyone but Peter and me seemed to have bought it at the time. He became one of the most popular guys in school. He would tell me every Monday about the girls that he would get laid by. I never understood girls. I guess that’s why Gina left me.
I clinched a bottle of aspirin in my hand. It was shoved way down deep in my pocket. I figured that’s the way to go. It’s going to be tough enough for whoever discovers my body. No need for me to add to the horror by putting a bullet through my skull and having them not only see my dead body but my brains scattered all over the room.
When the doors opened again to let the next wave of passengers in and a fresh dose of urine air, Miles spotted me. He got up and walked towards me swinging his arms like he would turn around and hit anyone who gave him crap. Its funny I still see that quiet kid he used to be. He used to have a Ducktales lunchbox our first year of high school. Not only was it odd for a kid that age to still have a lunchbox, but to have one with a cartoon on it made it even funnier. He sat down across from me.
“How you been Yo?” he shouted loud enough to make sure everyone knew he was cool.
“ I have been”
You would think with the blatant roll of the eyes I gave him he would have gotten the hint.
“Where you working these days? he asked.
“Ralph’s market.”
“Still? What are you up to about 4 bucks an hour?” he asked followed by a fake laugh.
“About that.”
Now notice I didn’t ask him anything about his life. However, he saw fit to tell me anyway.
“I’ve been working for the Central Federal Computer Data. Its easy cash. Because, I know my shit so well. I get on the phone and sell people software and shit. I even go to their homes to help fix problems. I make commission on selling them a warranty from our company. I’ll go in there and scare the crap out of them by telling them horror stories of all the viruses going around. Not only do I get them to buy warranties and make commission, but I exploit the real dumbasses. I’ll run a disk in their computer and charge them 50 bucks telling them they are protected from all the newest viruses. Although it doesn’t even do that. It just runs through the files. Its totally meaningless.”
I started pretended in my mind to punch him and throw him into the wall of the train. I always make stuff up in my mind when I’m bored As I looked around the train I was amazed to see this incredibly sexy woman about my age sitting, alone. As Miles rambled on and on, I began to think maybe I could postpone my plans for the night and make a new friend. She had straight dark hair and a low cut red tank top on. Peter once lent me a book about how men and woman get together. The one theory was the monkey theory. That if two people were forced to stay in the same spot for a long period of time they would end up having sex. Like monkeys in a cage at a zoo. I got out of my seat while the train still moved. I figured I had at least thirty minutes until we reached Stewart Street, which was my stop. She wasn’t going anywhere. Might as well go out with a bang. I always wanted to put that monkey theory to a test.
My first move to make and impression on her wasn’t very good. I kinda fell into the seat next to her. I wondered if Miles was still talking.
Our eyes met. I had to say something other than hello. That would be pretty lame. I took notice of her wearing shorts.
“Aren’t you cold?” I asked. Although one look at her tank top gave me the answer to that question. I didn’t want to look, so I sent my eyes to look at the chair in front of me. There was a bunny sticker on the back of the seat in front of me. I just sat and looked right at it.
“Yeah well it’s always hot where I work so my boss let’s me wear shorts. She’s cool like that” I turned back facing her just to see her smile after she said that. I saw her big brown eyes widen. She has such a nice smile, that it made me feel guilty about all the sinful things I thought of her while crossing that train.
“Melissa’s my name but call me Missy” she extended her soft little hand.
“I’m James.” We shook hands. “So where do you work?”
“American Bagels you know on 45th and market?”
“Oh yeaaaah” I lied.
“Do you want one?” she asked she leaned over to get a bagel out of the bag sitting on the floor. My eyes went straight back to the bunny. I took the bagel and wrapped it up and set it on my lap for later. I wanted to talk to her, but not about me. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to hear about me going to school to become a doctor and failing. Or how everyone seemed to have better luck than I do, even guys like Miles who didn’t deserve it. Or that if this train wasn’t moving so slow, that I would be downing a bunch of pills right now.
“Where you heading?” I asked.
“Back to my apartment in Amesbury.”
“That must be so cool to be out on your own. I mean my parents drive me nuts. Everybody has it better than me. What made you finally decide to get out?”
“Actually my parents are dead”
No where in that monkey book did it mention about what to say after that.
“I’m really …”
“When I was ten my mother was killed in a drunk driving accident. My father was never the same. Six years later I came home from school to find my father lying on the kitchen floor. He was dead of a heart attack. I sat there holding him waiting for the ambulance. But I knew he was gone. I could feel it. I have some relatives down south, and a grandmother in a home. But I have been on my own since I was sixteen its been me and my Little sister. I work at the bagel place and take classes when I can. I’m not going to be there my whole life. I’ studying to become a vet I love animals”
When I first saw her I could only think about what she would look like naked. Now I couldn’t. I just thought about holding her when she was crying and holding her in sense to say it wasn’t fair that she was dealt a lousy hand in life. But its amazing when I looked at her she didn’t seem defeated. In fact, she had a look of total confidence when she told me where she saw herself. I placed my hand on hers for a second. She looked back and pointed with her head. She pointed right to Miles.
“Friend of yours?” she asked.
“Far from it”
“He comes in my work a lot. Her asks me to go clubbing with him every time. I just keep telling him no but he doesn’t listen. I told him to his face one time that I didn’t like him,but he still comes.”
Speaking of the devil. He came to us as the train had reached his station. He walked up to say goodbye. Or so I thought. He just looked at her.
“ I see you are talking to my boy Jimmy over here,” he said, hitting my shoulder. But it was the way he said it like I didn’t have a chance in hell with a girl like her that pissed me off. “Maybe I’ll stop in and see you tomorrow Missy.” As he finished that sentence missy and I both noticed the enormous piece of snot hanging out his nose. It was funny how he was trying to put me down in front of her, and he had a ten-foot booger clinging for dear life to a nose hair. When he left, we both broke into laughter. I hadn’t laughed that hard in I don’t know how long.
“Its funny most girls are into Miles big time,” I said once I caught my breath.
“Yeah there are a lot of naive girls that I could see buying into his act. I guess he sees other guys get girls who act that, and he figures he my as well pretend to be like them. Instead of actually being himself. I mean he may live a happy life with girls he dupes. But he isn’t honest with himself. I can even tell that. I guess his act is just his way of taking the easy way out.” I realized the irony of her comment as I clinched the aspirin bottle once again.
Before I knew it we arrived at Stewart station I got up. I realized what I slid on when I came over. It was little red plastic monkey, with two hook arms. It looked like it was from one of those barrel of monkeys from when I was a kid.
“Oh how cute,” she said. “ My little sister gave me them for Christmas one year. She said she liked the way that one monkey would always hold on with all his might to keep the other from falling.”
“Thanks,” I said softly. I think she thought I ment the for the bagel.
I gave her the monkey and told her goodbye. I stepped out of the train. I thought about doubling back and getting her number. Instead, I took the aspirin and threw it as hard as I could, and took a bite of the bagel. It was sweet.
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
“Jersey Girl”
There is a good chance that many of my readers (okay maybe 2 of them) have no idea that major movie stars are bouncing around in the tri-state area. Kevin Smith director of such watermark 90’s flicks as Chasing Amy, Clerks and Mall Rats, is currently making his next movie Jersey Girl in our own Garden State.
The movie which wraps production next Wednesday boasts two major Hollywood stars in Ben Affleck and J-Lo, who are apparently now GETTING IT ON! I am not sure if their love blossomed over cheese steaks or not. In addition Kevin Smith favorite Jason Lee, American Pie’s Jason Biggs (recently sighted in a Philly club), George Carlen, Liv Tyler and the fat guy from Dumb and Dumber will appear in the flick, and have been in the area to shoot parts of the film.
Most of the Jersey filming was done in Paulsboro. The town is supposed to be central Jersey though. The movie also has scene that was filmed right in the Berlin diner. The Silver looking one right on the White Horse Pike. Since the movie was to take place in the winter, the tree sitting out side was stripped of its leafs. You can actually still see it if you drive past.
Scenes in Philly are supposed to be NYC, such as the Hard Rock Café, because its obviously cheaper to film there. The people of Paulsboro were so delighted to get some press that, they named a street after Kevin Smith. As of this week there is officially a Kevin Smith Way in the town of Paulsboro.
I’m told people have been cool when people have been asking them for autographs. Sadly its about the biggest thing movie wise to have come here in a long time. This girl that writes for the Daily News became so obsessed with Ben Affleck being around, that she wrote about one time about voice mails that he left her. She also took paper space to tell him where to get soup and cheese steaks.
You will have to wait till fall of 2003 to nudge your friend and say. Hey I know that place! I have no idea what the plot is about. Maybe it is about a girl that comes back from college to work a crappy retail job and make half the garden state fall in love with her. I didn’t see any Puerto Rican cast members in the cast list though. Don’t worry loyal viewers she NEVER reads my blogg, no matter how many times I tell her to. So no harm will come on to thee!
Other movies that I know of filmed in Philly:
Rocky
Fallen
Mannequin
Mannequin 2: On the Move
Philadelphia
Witness (parts of)
There is a good chance that many of my readers (okay maybe 2 of them) have no idea that major movie stars are bouncing around in the tri-state area. Kevin Smith director of such watermark 90’s flicks as Chasing Amy, Clerks and Mall Rats, is currently making his next movie Jersey Girl in our own Garden State.
The movie which wraps production next Wednesday boasts two major Hollywood stars in Ben Affleck and J-Lo, who are apparently now GETTING IT ON! I am not sure if their love blossomed over cheese steaks or not. In addition Kevin Smith favorite Jason Lee, American Pie’s Jason Biggs (recently sighted in a Philly club), George Carlen, Liv Tyler and the fat guy from Dumb and Dumber will appear in the flick, and have been in the area to shoot parts of the film.
Most of the Jersey filming was done in Paulsboro. The town is supposed to be central Jersey though. The movie also has scene that was filmed right in the Berlin diner. The Silver looking one right on the White Horse Pike. Since the movie was to take place in the winter, the tree sitting out side was stripped of its leafs. You can actually still see it if you drive past.
Scenes in Philly are supposed to be NYC, such as the Hard Rock Café, because its obviously cheaper to film there. The people of Paulsboro were so delighted to get some press that, they named a street after Kevin Smith. As of this week there is officially a Kevin Smith Way in the town of Paulsboro.
I’m told people have been cool when people have been asking them for autographs. Sadly its about the biggest thing movie wise to have come here in a long time. This girl that writes for the Daily News became so obsessed with Ben Affleck being around, that she wrote about one time about voice mails that he left her. She also took paper space to tell him where to get soup and cheese steaks.
You will have to wait till fall of 2003 to nudge your friend and say. Hey I know that place! I have no idea what the plot is about. Maybe it is about a girl that comes back from college to work a crappy retail job and make half the garden state fall in love with her. I didn’t see any Puerto Rican cast members in the cast list though. Don’t worry loyal viewers she NEVER reads my blogg, no matter how many times I tell her to. So no harm will come on to thee!
Other movies that I know of filmed in Philly:
Rocky
Fallen
Mannequin
Mannequin 2: On the Move
Philadelphia
Witness (parts of)
Sunday, September 01, 2002
Friday, August 30, 2002
"Welcome to Comcast Country...now bend over!"
If you tried to watching the Phillies recently or wanted to catch the Eagles preseason game rebroadcast for the 10th time perhaps you noticed something that many other South Jersey residents are.
If your lucky it appears the reception looks like you have had one too many beers. Sadly thats about as good as it gets. At times in the afternoon it appears about as clear a scrambled porn channel. This has been going on since Comcast oddly shifted ComcastSportsnet from channel 9 all the way down channel 69.
Why would such a popular channel produced by the same people that own the actual cable company be flipped to such a higher channel, usually dedicated to lame stations no one watches( not to mention the sexual reference). Granted it is not uncommon for the cable distributors to monkey with their lineup. But in this case ComcastSportsnet simply went to a station where Comcast IN DEMAND ads ran 24/7, and QVC showed up on channel 9, and no other channels moved, no other channels were even added. Seems strange.
So strange that my father actually called the cable company. The first time they didn't bother to show up. The next time They replaced the cable line going into the house and nothing changed and of course he showed up late. The third trip involved a "tech" expert. He just became disgruntled that the last guy didn't run a new line from the pole to the house, just replaced the line inside, and part of the outside line.
He did offer advice saying it's likely an old wire somewhere is exposed causing interference from an AM radio frequency. Supposedly they will work on it sometime after the holiday. Id imagine many more people will flood the company with complaints in the next weeks if nothing changes when the Flyers and Sixers start their seasons.
Unfortunately you can't switch cable companies either, because Comcast has zero competition. Don't ask me how this is not a monopoly cause not only doesn't my comment feature not work, but I don't no the answer. They gobbled up Suburban, Warner and Garden State Cable. If anyone dares to come around they have to run their own cable lines, which would break their wallets in no time.
The wiggle vision has not only effected me. Drive up to the Warwick tavern or any local sports bar and try to figure out why it looks like Phillies game looks like its underwater.
Is this a ploy to get analog subcribers to switch to digital? Thats what I thought, but the "tech" said even the digitial subcribers get CSN in analog form. Perhaps people at Comcast are just morons. Perhaps its own by a rich evil Mr. Burns type person who gets joy from watching people suffer. Recent articles in the Business section elude to possible problems with the company's future. Any company with Scott Hanson on the payroll should be.
ps. the outer frame of my blog now doubles as a magic eye poster. I can't wait to see what nonsense appears about the head line this time.
If you tried to watching the Phillies recently or wanted to catch the Eagles preseason game rebroadcast for the 10th time perhaps you noticed something that many other South Jersey residents are.
If your lucky it appears the reception looks like you have had one too many beers. Sadly thats about as good as it gets. At times in the afternoon it appears about as clear a scrambled porn channel. This has been going on since Comcast oddly shifted ComcastSportsnet from channel 9 all the way down channel 69.
Why would such a popular channel produced by the same people that own the actual cable company be flipped to such a higher channel, usually dedicated to lame stations no one watches( not to mention the sexual reference). Granted it is not uncommon for the cable distributors to monkey with their lineup. But in this case ComcastSportsnet simply went to a station where Comcast IN DEMAND ads ran 24/7, and QVC showed up on channel 9, and no other channels moved, no other channels were even added. Seems strange.
So strange that my father actually called the cable company. The first time they didn't bother to show up. The next time They replaced the cable line going into the house and nothing changed and of course he showed up late. The third trip involved a "tech" expert. He just became disgruntled that the last guy didn't run a new line from the pole to the house, just replaced the line inside, and part of the outside line.
He did offer advice saying it's likely an old wire somewhere is exposed causing interference from an AM radio frequency. Supposedly they will work on it sometime after the holiday. Id imagine many more people will flood the company with complaints in the next weeks if nothing changes when the Flyers and Sixers start their seasons.
Unfortunately you can't switch cable companies either, because Comcast has zero competition. Don't ask me how this is not a monopoly cause not only doesn't my comment feature not work, but I don't no the answer. They gobbled up Suburban, Warner and Garden State Cable. If anyone dares to come around they have to run their own cable lines, which would break their wallets in no time.
The wiggle vision has not only effected me. Drive up to the Warwick tavern or any local sports bar and try to figure out why it looks like Phillies game looks like its underwater.
Is this a ploy to get analog subcribers to switch to digital? Thats what I thought, but the "tech" said even the digitial subcribers get CSN in analog form. Perhaps people at Comcast are just morons. Perhaps its own by a rich evil Mr. Burns type person who gets joy from watching people suffer. Recent articles in the Business section elude to possible problems with the company's future. Any company with Scott Hanson on the payroll should be.
ps. the outer frame of my blog now doubles as a magic eye poster. I can't wait to see what nonsense appears about the head line this time.
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
“Three DVDs, a guy and some down time”
Here is a run down on my latest Blockbuster run.
National Lampoon’s Van WilderRated R 2002
Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid
The guy who wrote and directed National Lampoon’s must have grown up watching Campus Comedies. The movie exists in fantasy college land where big-breasted girls walk around campus constantly looking for sex, Campus parties are huge and only rarely broken up. He also cast three Alumni in supporting roles in the film, The guy from the revenge of the nerds movies, Tom Everett Scott (Dead Man on Campus), and Tim Matherson ( Animal House).
The movie centers on the title character Van Wilder who is in his 7th year of grad. School. What would be the point in leaving? He is treated like a god there, has young girls throw themselves at him, and can throws legendary parties. He is so busy he has to hire an assistant, who takes the job so Wilder can help him get laid before he goes back to India. He is a hell of a guy, and I imagine Ferris Bueller was like this in College.
Wilder also looks after the little guy quite often helping nerds get laid, raising money for struggling school clubs, counseling various other students, and befriending “sick” boy. Of course there are the rival rich kids who want to make lots of money when the graduate and hang out in the frat house all day. Of course the head of the frat is the boyfriend of Wilder’s love interest. Of course they are going to engage in childish pranks.
A lot of the humor works, particularly Wilder’s great one liners, but some of the gross out humor tries too hard, and a hand full of the many slapstick gags are lame. One of most bizarre sequences is when Wilder pays a stripper to fart on a friend. The problem with this kind of movie is when the jokes fail they really FAIL. Perhaps they should have replaced some of the lame gross jokes with funny dialogue the were apparently able to write (at least for wilder) instead. There are jokes about the size of Wilder’s dog’s testicles which work almost every time though.
Since Wilder has been in school so long his dad has cut off his funding, so Wilder has to pay for what looks to be his last semester. Wilder sticks with what he knows being hired to throw parties, and even starting a topless tutoring business.
Tara Reid shows up as the campus reporter trying to get an interview with him, but he tries turning all the interviews into dates. Of course a love story develops, cause you don’t pay Tara Reid to act you pay her to look good and be chased after. Despite some sick gags, the movie ends on a sweet note with Wilder
questioning his future. If you hate movies with potty humor, stay far away. You know who you are. Although its not the best in its genre (two demerits for ripping off American Pie, which ripped off Dumb and Dumber by using the same exact joke) its worth a rental. Its hard to really hate a movie with a character like Van Wilder who zooms around campus in a golf cart. This movie flopped in the theaters but, now that its own DVD it has the potential to find an audience much like movies such as Office Space and Austin Powers did…WRITE THAT DOWN!
Grade:
B-
Mulholland Drive
I never watched a David Lynch movie in my life till the other night. Since this movie had been out for almost a year, I forgot what it was supposed to be about. Apparently, that does not make any difference. I still don’t. To his credit the movie is hypnotic visually, and there are some techniques not used since the 70’s and some great camera angels. However, a good deal of the acting is sup bar, and to say the movie is incoherent is an understatement.
The main plot is about some girl who was in accident staying with a would be actress, and trying to remember who she is. Meanwhile some director is beating threatened by some old white dudes to put a certain girl in his play. Character actor Dan Hedya shows up for two minutes for no particular reason. Eventually the director gets threatened by a random cowboy, and that’s when I pretty much gave up on following the movie.
Other people show up in the movie, like a guy telling a friend about a dream at a diner, and a hitman who’s job goes comically awry (and violently) but that have nothing to do with anything and most of them are never heard or seen again or have anything to do with any other character in the entire movie.
The movie gets even harder to grasp when it changes gears out of no where and becomes like one of those movies Prism used to run late at night when the two girls start getting it on! Than characters change names and morph into other people for no reason, there is a corpse, something to do with a box and blue keys, a 5 inch elderly couple ran around like crazy. People get emotional about stuff. Then the credits roll.
After seeing the movie I thought I was dumb, but I read the reviews of it online, and no one got the movie either. Yet they called it a masterpiece. I admit the movie stays with you a while and is innovative in some ways, but in now ways is it a masterpiece! The more I read the more I had to back it up. Mullhoand Drive was originally shot as a pilot for ABC, but was never picked up. The majority of that it left in the film, but other stuff is added to make it into a movie. I guess when the nudity begins is when the pilot ends. A movie has to make some sort of sense in order to be a masterpiece. You can watch this movie on your DVD play and hit random, and it makes about as much sense. Lynch should get an award for making so many people think he is a genius. I mean I am all for new forms of movie making and it does mess with your mind, but I prefer movies that make sense which I don’t think Lynch ever intended to do. For a good mind trip rent Memento, Dark City, or Vanilla Sky, they actually have a story.
Grade: C
Say Anything
I finally checked this flick out even though its over a decade old. Mainly cause it has John Cusack and was directed by Cameron Crowe. The movie was a bit of a chick flick, but it was really well done so I didn’t mind watching it alone in a dark room. The father from fraiser turns in a good performance. It’s a honest movie a trait anyone who ever watched Almost Famous could easily pick out as a Crowe trademark.
Cusack has a knack for playing the everyman role and is very memorable in this role. The movie is different from most of the 80’s teen flicks, because it is not about sex its an actual love story. That sounded pretty gay, I am going to go out back and build something with my hands….
Grade: B +
Here is a run down on my latest Blockbuster run.
National Lampoon’s Van WilderRated R 2002
Ryan Reynolds, Tara Reid
The guy who wrote and directed National Lampoon’s must have grown up watching Campus Comedies. The movie exists in fantasy college land where big-breasted girls walk around campus constantly looking for sex, Campus parties are huge and only rarely broken up. He also cast three Alumni in supporting roles in the film, The guy from the revenge of the nerds movies, Tom Everett Scott (Dead Man on Campus), and Tim Matherson ( Animal House).
The movie centers on the title character Van Wilder who is in his 7th year of grad. School. What would be the point in leaving? He is treated like a god there, has young girls throw themselves at him, and can throws legendary parties. He is so busy he has to hire an assistant, who takes the job so Wilder can help him get laid before he goes back to India. He is a hell of a guy, and I imagine Ferris Bueller was like this in College.
Wilder also looks after the little guy quite often helping nerds get laid, raising money for struggling school clubs, counseling various other students, and befriending “sick” boy. Of course there are the rival rich kids who want to make lots of money when the graduate and hang out in the frat house all day. Of course the head of the frat is the boyfriend of Wilder’s love interest. Of course they are going to engage in childish pranks.
A lot of the humor works, particularly Wilder’s great one liners, but some of the gross out humor tries too hard, and a hand full of the many slapstick gags are lame. One of most bizarre sequences is when Wilder pays a stripper to fart on a friend. The problem with this kind of movie is when the jokes fail they really FAIL. Perhaps they should have replaced some of the lame gross jokes with funny dialogue the were apparently able to write (at least for wilder) instead. There are jokes about the size of Wilder’s dog’s testicles which work almost every time though.
Since Wilder has been in school so long his dad has cut off his funding, so Wilder has to pay for what looks to be his last semester. Wilder sticks with what he knows being hired to throw parties, and even starting a topless tutoring business.
Tara Reid shows up as the campus reporter trying to get an interview with him, but he tries turning all the interviews into dates. Of course a love story develops, cause you don’t pay Tara Reid to act you pay her to look good and be chased after. Despite some sick gags, the movie ends on a sweet note with Wilder
questioning his future. If you hate movies with potty humor, stay far away. You know who you are. Although its not the best in its genre (two demerits for ripping off American Pie, which ripped off Dumb and Dumber by using the same exact joke) its worth a rental. Its hard to really hate a movie with a character like Van Wilder who zooms around campus in a golf cart. This movie flopped in the theaters but, now that its own DVD it has the potential to find an audience much like movies such as Office Space and Austin Powers did…WRITE THAT DOWN!
Grade:
B-
Mulholland Drive
I never watched a David Lynch movie in my life till the other night. Since this movie had been out for almost a year, I forgot what it was supposed to be about. Apparently, that does not make any difference. I still don’t. To his credit the movie is hypnotic visually, and there are some techniques not used since the 70’s and some great camera angels. However, a good deal of the acting is sup bar, and to say the movie is incoherent is an understatement.
The main plot is about some girl who was in accident staying with a would be actress, and trying to remember who she is. Meanwhile some director is beating threatened by some old white dudes to put a certain girl in his play. Character actor Dan Hedya shows up for two minutes for no particular reason. Eventually the director gets threatened by a random cowboy, and that’s when I pretty much gave up on following the movie.
Other people show up in the movie, like a guy telling a friend about a dream at a diner, and a hitman who’s job goes comically awry (and violently) but that have nothing to do with anything and most of them are never heard or seen again or have anything to do with any other character in the entire movie.
The movie gets even harder to grasp when it changes gears out of no where and becomes like one of those movies Prism used to run late at night when the two girls start getting it on! Than characters change names and morph into other people for no reason, there is a corpse, something to do with a box and blue keys, a 5 inch elderly couple ran around like crazy. People get emotional about stuff. Then the credits roll.
After seeing the movie I thought I was dumb, but I read the reviews of it online, and no one got the movie either. Yet they called it a masterpiece. I admit the movie stays with you a while and is innovative in some ways, but in now ways is it a masterpiece! The more I read the more I had to back it up. Mullhoand Drive was originally shot as a pilot for ABC, but was never picked up. The majority of that it left in the film, but other stuff is added to make it into a movie. I guess when the nudity begins is when the pilot ends. A movie has to make some sort of sense in order to be a masterpiece. You can watch this movie on your DVD play and hit random, and it makes about as much sense. Lynch should get an award for making so many people think he is a genius. I mean I am all for new forms of movie making and it does mess with your mind, but I prefer movies that make sense which I don’t think Lynch ever intended to do. For a good mind trip rent Memento, Dark City, or Vanilla Sky, they actually have a story.
Grade: C
Say Anything
I finally checked this flick out even though its over a decade old. Mainly cause it has John Cusack and was directed by Cameron Crowe. The movie was a bit of a chick flick, but it was really well done so I didn’t mind watching it alone in a dark room. The father from fraiser turns in a good performance. It’s a honest movie a trait anyone who ever watched Almost Famous could easily pick out as a Crowe trademark.
Cusack has a knack for playing the everyman role and is very memorable in this role. The movie is different from most of the 80’s teen flicks, because it is not about sex its an actual love story. That sounded pretty gay, I am going to go out back and build something with my hands….
Grade: B +
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
"Fresh Skates"
Two slacker hockey players will get a 2nd chance this coming season. One of which will be wearing the Orange and Black and the other one wore it briefly.
Pavel Brendle who was acquired in the Lindros trade last season, is going to be given a 2nd chance to crack the line up this season. Brendle was supposed to be the key factor in the trade, and part of an all Czech line. However injuries and an early season trade put an end to that. Brendle found no room in the inn when players like the scrappy Marty Murray and new comer Donald Brasher came and carved out niches on the team.
Brendle played for the Phantoms most the year, and certainly wasn't a fan favorite. He is often jeered for his lack of heart and drive, but many people think the skill to be a top NHL player is there. Due to injuries and flat out desperation he played the last two post season games for the Flyers, but all was already lost at that point.
The good news is that he have been working his butt off this summer, and is in shape and ready to go. Certainly the new coach won't take any slacking off from Pavel. People have already penciled him on a line with new Center Michael Handzus who was picked up in the offseason. He now or never if he wants to be an NHL player.
Meanwhile after two years of partying and playing in a roller league with 40 yearold men. Alexander Daigle has either had a change of heart or blew all his money on fake CA girls, cause he is ready to rejoin the NHL. San Jose called him up this summer, and he was all ready to go. Till Super Mario called him up and asked him to play for the Penguins. So perhaps Daigle is serious if he is going to leave the West coast, and playing with Mario won't hurt either.
I doubt Daigle will pan out though, he will soon get bored, zone out and skate around aimlessly as usual. Hopefully the penguins pay him very little seeing as where there millions of dollars in debt. If he finds the night life in Pittsburgh lame maybe should get Kevin Steven's number or something. He certainly won't put up good numbers for the penguins. Oh well
ps
the comment thing is still not working..im close to giving up. Can anyone out there pleassssssse help!!!!?!?!?
email me for feed back on Tucker's world
Two slacker hockey players will get a 2nd chance this coming season. One of which will be wearing the Orange and Black and the other one wore it briefly.
Pavel Brendle who was acquired in the Lindros trade last season, is going to be given a 2nd chance to crack the line up this season. Brendle was supposed to be the key factor in the trade, and part of an all Czech line. However injuries and an early season trade put an end to that. Brendle found no room in the inn when players like the scrappy Marty Murray and new comer Donald Brasher came and carved out niches on the team.
Brendle played for the Phantoms most the year, and certainly wasn't a fan favorite. He is often jeered for his lack of heart and drive, but many people think the skill to be a top NHL player is there. Due to injuries and flat out desperation he played the last two post season games for the Flyers, but all was already lost at that point.
The good news is that he have been working his butt off this summer, and is in shape and ready to go. Certainly the new coach won't take any slacking off from Pavel. People have already penciled him on a line with new Center Michael Handzus who was picked up in the offseason. He now or never if he wants to be an NHL player.
Meanwhile after two years of partying and playing in a roller league with 40 yearold men. Alexander Daigle has either had a change of heart or blew all his money on fake CA girls, cause he is ready to rejoin the NHL. San Jose called him up this summer, and he was all ready to go. Till Super Mario called him up and asked him to play for the Penguins. So perhaps Daigle is serious if he is going to leave the West coast, and playing with Mario won't hurt either.
I doubt Daigle will pan out though, he will soon get bored, zone out and skate around aimlessly as usual. Hopefully the penguins pay him very little seeing as where there millions of dollars in debt. If he finds the night life in Pittsburgh lame maybe should get Kevin Steven's number or something. He certainly won't put up good numbers for the penguins. Oh well
ps
the comment thing is still not working..im close to giving up. Can anyone out there pleassssssse help!!!!?!?!?
email me for feed back on Tucker's world
Friday, August 23, 2002
"The Net"
Last night I returned home from a night out with my friends. My ritual of checking my e-mail before I go to bed was especially sweet last night because I figured people would have become aware of Tucker's world at this point.
YOU GOT MAIL exclaimed an excited Steve Chase...but that would have to wait. It's time to see what comments await for me on my infant Blog. Sadly not a soul welcomed Tucker's World to Cyber Space. So I figured it test the system and post a mock comment. Much to my surprise I neglected to add this feature to my site.
Ah, I will just go into my settings and make a few corrections and away we go! With in a few minutes I humbled myself and resorted to the "?" Icon. I asked kindly about adding a comments feature to Tucker's World. I knew this was possible and I don't doubt it has been accomplished by retarded kids and gifted apes. However I soon discover that you have to go to a third party in order to add on this feature. We can use computers to make Mick Jaggar look 30 and put our heads together in order to create a featherless chicken, but we have not mastered the comments feature on the Blog system.
Anyway, an entire list of third parties jumps on my screen which are preceded by what type of computer software and various other requirements are ideal for running the program. Well, I know my Computer can't do what Richard Pryor's did in Superman III, but would like to think it could do what Dan K.'s did in 1996. So I randomly select a few the 1st one involves me filling out too much so I grow tired of it. The 2nd one tells me how easy it is. When I complete the form it tells my they are no longer accepting people. I felt like I just got turned away at some sort of cyber space night club. Finally I find one that I can follow. So I do what is told cutting and pasting URL links amongst the wonderful world of HTML that lurks under the crust of Tucker's world.
Sadly everytime I hit save settings nothing appears any different when I view the site. So I play around some more turning my HTML for this site into some sort of primitive verision of Tetris. I went to my friends for tech support, Ryan simply said eh, apparently Rick's weak spot is HTML, Drew must have some sort of life because he wasn't answering his phone all day, and perhaps only Dan K can allow the 4 people that read Tucker's world to respond. But since he could undoubtedly do this minutes after leaving his mother uterus it is a bit humbling for me to seek his imput. I will figure something out.
Oh well for now just email me at mst3keith@ aol.com to comment and sit back and enjoy my column.
Last night I returned home from a night out with my friends. My ritual of checking my e-mail before I go to bed was especially sweet last night because I figured people would have become aware of Tucker's world at this point.
YOU GOT MAIL exclaimed an excited Steve Chase...but that would have to wait. It's time to see what comments await for me on my infant Blog. Sadly not a soul welcomed Tucker's World to Cyber Space. So I figured it test the system and post a mock comment. Much to my surprise I neglected to add this feature to my site.
Ah, I will just go into my settings and make a few corrections and away we go! With in a few minutes I humbled myself and resorted to the "?" Icon. I asked kindly about adding a comments feature to Tucker's World. I knew this was possible and I don't doubt it has been accomplished by retarded kids and gifted apes. However I soon discover that you have to go to a third party in order to add on this feature. We can use computers to make Mick Jaggar look 30 and put our heads together in order to create a featherless chicken, but we have not mastered the comments feature on the Blog system.
Anyway, an entire list of third parties jumps on my screen which are preceded by what type of computer software and various other requirements are ideal for running the program. Well, I know my Computer can't do what Richard Pryor's did in Superman III, but would like to think it could do what Dan K.'s did in 1996. So I randomly select a few the 1st one involves me filling out too much so I grow tired of it. The 2nd one tells me how easy it is. When I complete the form it tells my they are no longer accepting people. I felt like I just got turned away at some sort of cyber space night club. Finally I find one that I can follow. So I do what is told cutting and pasting URL links amongst the wonderful world of HTML that lurks under the crust of Tucker's world.
Sadly everytime I hit save settings nothing appears any different when I view the site. So I play around some more turning my HTML for this site into some sort of primitive verision of Tetris. I went to my friends for tech support, Ryan simply said eh, apparently Rick's weak spot is HTML, Drew must have some sort of life because he wasn't answering his phone all day, and perhaps only Dan K can allow the 4 people that read Tucker's world to respond. But since he could undoubtedly do this minutes after leaving his mother uterus it is a bit humbling for me to seek his imput. I will figure something out.
Oh well for now just email me at mst3keith@ aol.com to comment and sit back and enjoy my column.
Thursday, August 22, 2002
"The Net"
Last night I returned home from a night out with my friends. My ritual of checking my e-mail before I go to bed was especially sweet last night because I figured people would have become aware of Tucker's world at this point.
YOU GOT MAIL exclaimed an excited Steve Chase...but that would have to wait. It's time to see what comments await for me on my infant Blog. Sadly there not a sole welcomed Tucker's World to Cyber Space. So I figured it test the system and post a mock comment. Much to my surprise I neglected to add this feature to my site.
Ah, I will just go into my settings and make a few corrections and away we go! With in a few minutes I humbled myself and resorted to the "?" Icon. I asked kindly about adding a comments feature to Tucker's World. I knew this was possible and I don't doubt it has been accomplished by retarded kids and gifted apes. However I soon discover that you have to go to a third party in order to add on this feature. We can use computers to make Mick Jaggar look 30 and put our heads together in order to create a featherless chicken, but we have not mastered the comments feature on the Blog system.
Anyway, an entire list of third parties jumps on my screen which are preceded by what type of computer software and various other requirements are ideal for running the program. Well, I know my Computer can't do what Richard Pryor's did in Superman III, but would like to think it could do what Dan K.'s did in 1996. So I randomly select a few the 1st one involves me filling out too much so I grow tired of it. The 2nd one tells me how easy it is. When I complete the form it tells my they are no longer accepting people. I felt like I just got turned away at some sort of cyber space night club. Finally I find one that I can follow. So I do what is told cutting and pasting URL links amongst the wonderful world of HTML that lurks under the crust of Tucker's world.
Sadly everytime I hit save settings nothing appears any different when I view the site. So I play around some more turning my HTML for this site into some sort of primitive verision of Tetris. I went to my friends for tech support, Ryan simply said eh, apparently Rick's weak spot is HTML, Drew must have some sort of life because he wasn't answering his phone all day, and perhaps only Dan K can allow the 4 people that read Tucker's world to respond. But since he could undoubtedly do this minutes after leaving his mother uterus it is a bit humbling for me. I will figure something out.
Oh well for now just email me at Mst3keith@aol.com to comment and sit back and enjoy my column.
Last night I returned home from a night out with my friends. My ritual of checking my e-mail before I go to bed was especially sweet last night because I figured people would have become aware of Tucker's world at this point.
YOU GOT MAIL exclaimed an excited Steve Chase...but that would have to wait. It's time to see what comments await for me on my infant Blog. Sadly there not a sole welcomed Tucker's World to Cyber Space. So I figured it test the system and post a mock comment. Much to my surprise I neglected to add this feature to my site.
Ah, I will just go into my settings and make a few corrections and away we go! With in a few minutes I humbled myself and resorted to the "?" Icon. I asked kindly about adding a comments feature to Tucker's World. I knew this was possible and I don't doubt it has been accomplished by retarded kids and gifted apes. However I soon discover that you have to go to a third party in order to add on this feature. We can use computers to make Mick Jaggar look 30 and put our heads together in order to create a featherless chicken, but we have not mastered the comments feature on the Blog system.
Anyway, an entire list of third parties jumps on my screen which are preceded by what type of computer software and various other requirements are ideal for running the program. Well, I know my Computer can't do what Richard Pryor's did in Superman III, but would like to think it could do what Dan K.'s did in 1996. So I randomly select a few the 1st one involves me filling out too much so I grow tired of it. The 2nd one tells me how easy it is. When I complete the form it tells my they are no longer accepting people. I felt like I just got turned away at some sort of cyber space night club. Finally I find one that I can follow. So I do what is told cutting and pasting URL links amongst the wonderful world of HTML that lurks under the crust of Tucker's world.
Sadly everytime I hit save settings nothing appears any different when I view the site. So I play around some more turning my HTML for this site into some sort of primitive verision of Tetris. I went to my friends for tech support, Ryan simply said eh, apparently Rick's weak spot is HTML, Drew must have some sort of life because he wasn't answering his phone all day, and perhaps only Dan K can allow the 4 people that read Tucker's world to respond. But since he could undoubtedly do this minutes after leaving his mother uterus it is a bit humbling for me. I will figure something out.
Oh well for now just email me at Mst3keith@aol.com to comment and sit back and enjoy my column.
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